Healing through the Cold of Water
Whether you were allowed to see your family this past Christmas and New Year or got to be close to some of your friends, it won’t change the fact that the turning of the year was and continues to be anything but normal for any of us. As temperatures drop even further, and a little promise of snow reaches London, the immediate state of confinement within our homes and our minds (in yet another lockdown), once again leaves you with a choice either to weep or change the mindset within.
Across England, you could only celebrate Christmas within your own household, and since all my immediate family are in the US (and I alongside my kids reside in London), this situation made me rethink the significance of a family reunion, far beyond tradition and banal expectation. I’ve lived on distant shores far from my family for the majority of my life, yet New Years is when we would always regroup somewhere amongst snowy tops of Colorado, or soak in the wintery LA sun in the Topanga hills, eat delicious mountains of food, laugh, hug, annoy each other, be… together. I underestimated the colossal importance this time with family brought to me and my children until we were no longer allowed to fly across the Atlantic. In the mids of darker, colder, shorter days, seeing family becomes a source of vital energy to recharge, reset, get filled up with love, hope and a knowing we belong to a bigger clan of people who care for us.
After a considerable amount of weeping, I had to turn to something other in order to fill my soul with a sense of fullness. I turned to cold swimming. Since summer, I simply decided not to stop swimming in the wild, so every weekend, whenever possible I would dip myself into lakes, rivers, lidos, and the sea. At first a minute at a time, slowly progressing to fifteen minutes and back to about ten in the last couple of weeks when the temperature dropped to 4C.
Constant overcoming of fear and a sense of aliveness dominate this pastime. I am scared every time I am to step into the cold, wild water, I am scared of the river swelling high with strong currents, I am scared of being swept away, I am scared of the unknown. Yet every time I am immersed in the pure cold, I feel closest to some core part of my memory that’s connected to my childhood where I felt safest and loved by a huge clan of a family I grew up with in Russia. Whilst my limbs burn and slowly get numb, I feel most content, as if my spirit found its home. For a few minutes, there are no thoughts, just a pure state of being for no other reason than life itself. You are in all the trees, in the majestic sky, in all the drops of rain, in the mist above water. For something so physical, I am slowly learning that the cold water, in the wild of nature, is a spiritual teacher.
We are all so much stronger than we may believe ourselves to be for we all have resources known and unknown, which may guide us through harder, darker times, and bring us into light. Whether you swim, run, or sew.. it matters not.
18 Comments
Ann Griffin
Hello Masha, your words touched me deeply today.
I have been following a cold-therapy adventurer and healer by the name of Wim Hoff for a few years now. He advocates cold water and ice baths for their immune-boosting effects and as a tonic for the nervous system. He has worked with scientists who have confirmed in scientific terms what he has been telling us for many years – cold therapy is very good for the human body. Born in Denmark, he was familiar with the cold, but when his wife and soulmate died very young, he returned to cold-water swimming to heal his grief and loss.
I have cold showered, and have purchased an old claw-foot tub that I intend to fill with hose water and take dips, but have yet to make that leap. I must confess that I am somewhat intimidated by the idea of fully immersing myself in ground-temp water. Sadly, I have no access to clean outdoor water swimming sources.
I’m sure the benefits go far deeper than we even imagine, and when I hear you talk of the calming influence of the cold water in a natural environment, it makes me think of deep, primal rituals that as a culture most of us have been disconnected from. Bravo to you in finding a self-care and healing ritual that connects you both with nature and your higher self.
Jodi Palinkas
Beautiful
Jane Latimer
Beautiful article. Thank you for this forum where we share our loves; from linen to family to color to fashion.
Masha Karpushina
Thank you for your kind words, Jane.
Nay Albertson
As a swimmer, and have done some cold water swims, I can only say, hell no!!! It’s great you can do it, but it is NOT for me! Lake Tahoe in mid summer is about as cold as I go!
And I’m sorry you couldn’t see your family! But thank you for your article.
Deborah jo Miles
Thank you. Even though I was able to have Christmas with my family, we were separated due to Covid at Thanksgiving. Since that is my favorite holiday it was extremely hard on me not to have my children with me. I suffer from agoraphobia and the only people I allow in my home are my children and grandchildren, so I understand your loneliness.
Thank you for sharing.
Masha Karpushina
Deborah, thank you for such a warm reply. I am glad you had the opportunity to spend time with your kids over Christmas, may we all get through this as gently as possible, take care and thank you for sharing.
Alisha Cooke
This is so beautiful Masha! We aren’t always able to shift what is happening to or around us but we are always able to shift how we view it or what we do with it! I’m filled with gratitude for making it through a tough year able to be thankful for even tiny things, and filled with hope for the new year and God expanding my perspective! I hope you get to have a family reunion soon. PS Cold water terrifies me 😉 this was encouraging.
Masha Karpushina
Dearest Alisha, thank you so much, always kind and wise words from you. Cold water is so scary but it is magical once you overcome the fear (and stay safe!) :)))
Mary Parker
It’s amazing what the cold can do to us mentally. I hate running in the cold, but once I’m out there, I’m okay. It’s overcoming that initial mental block.
Masha Karpushina
Mary, I hear you as I am a runner myself and much prefer running in the heat of summer months, (which is why I love visiting family in LA so much!) but you are so right, once you get a couple of miles in, the body warms up and you get into a rhythm.
annie Wade
Wow, Masha. What a beautiful, spiritual story you’ve shared. I felt like we we’ve been feeling the same things; albeit totally different circumstances, as I read your words. I haven’t turned to swimming…but who knows? I just might this year…after a summer of warm water. 🙂 I moved to KY late 2k19…saw much of my family that year for Christmas…and have been rather isolated here since…thankfully, with the best hubby in the world. And, of course, our cat who has become quite elevated from Princess. There may not be a title to describe how important she is. BTW, we moved from FL where we could and did swim and paddle board, year round. Here…it IS scary to get into the Lake … never having lived near one…but I do know …that water …gives me that feeling of ONE…which…now that I’ve said it out loud (didn’t realize it before reading your words) I really, truly miss. I Have been making myself joyful…by making art…which I’m off to do now.
With much love,
annie!
Masha Karpushina
Annie, this was such a treat to read, thank you so much for your openness. It is a good idea to start very slowly with the summer withering away and the temperatures dropping gradually, but to be honest, this is my first year so before this, I couldn’t have imagined swimming nor wanting to swim in such cold conditions. I didn’t understand the full capacity of the experience. I hope you will get to see your family soon!
Jodi Palinkas
Thank you for this reminder. We are stronger than we know. Here’s a poem from David Whyte:
Tilicho Lake
In this high place
it is as simple as this,
leave everything you know behind.
Step toward the cold surface,
say the old prayer of rough love
and open both arms.
Those who come with empty hands
will stare into the lake astonished
there, in the cold light
reflecting pure snow
the true shape of your own face.
David Whyte
Jane Latimer
Thank you for that poem which captured the essence of Masha’s experience. I, too, love the water and cold water is much more than enlivening.
Masha Karpushina
Beautiful, thank you, Jodi, here is a quote by Iris Murdoch: Trembling with emotion, I tore my clothes off and walked into the sea. The cold shock, then the warmth, then the strong gentle lifting motion of the waves reminded me terribly of happiness.
Susan Hollister
Thank you, Masha. That was lovely. The last year has truly magnified the value of friendships and family relationships. There is something so soothing and satisfying in doing something that challenges you and momentarily pulls you away from the harshness life is sending our way.
Masha Karpushina
Susan, thank you for the kind words, and you are so right, it is precisely about this, overcoming something grander than yourself and your fears in order to feel more alive.