It’s Time to Recognize Untruths You’ve Believed About Your Body
Sarah sitting on a picnic blanket made with FS ROYAL BLUE 100% Linen
For some reason or another, our body seems to be of particular interest for attack from mean voices within. The mean voice is surprisingly convincing. It starts early in our lives. It is not invited inside, but it finds a way in. It cleverly twists things you hear or experience into unhealthy comparisons with girls around you. Because it starts so young and because it’s so constant, you become accustomed to the voice. It feeds you lies, but you start to perceive them as truths.
For me, it started when I was about 11. Whenever I tried on jeans in the Girls department at clothing stores, the jeans were so tight in the thighs and bum I could barely pull them up. After twisting and contorting this way and that, squeezing them up and over my bum, the waist of the pants was loose! I would put on a belt and fold over the extra fabric along the side seam, the thick fabric of the waistband gauging in and leaving red impressions on my skin.
I was left with the awkward combination of having thighs so tight I couldn’t bend over or squat comfortably, and a waist so baggy I was afraid folds of fabric would work their way loose under my belt. It felt a bit like wearing a funnel – big on top, increasingly smaller on the bottom. They were always uncomfortable to wear, but looking back, the discomfort was the smallest price I paid. The biggest, years-long price was having seeds of lies planted into my subconscious.
Sarah sitting on a picnic blanket made with FS ROYAL BLUE 100% Linen
The vile lies germinated and grew. They started with tearing down my confidence in my body, and led into other areas of life after that. Make no mistake, my friend, the inner mean voice wants you to dishonor the beautiful body you have been given. It wants you to feel horrible. The mean voice feels happy when it makes you feel sad. It’s like a virus that wants to cause you harm. Do these lies sound familiar to you? Has your inner mean voice been feeding you these lies since you were a child? Have you believed them?
It’s time to recognize them for what they are. They are lies. Once you recognize them, you can dismantle their power.
The truth is, in the process of your formation, you received a body in which to dwell. How wonderful that the intangible spirit and soul that you are, gets to have a physical presence with a body. Your body is your home, a temple in which to rest and produce work. You only get one of these bodies, of course. The amazing thing is that your one body has super-hero-like powers. Your temple is self-healing when injured, it takes in new elements from food to replace old parts. It has hundreds of thousands of miles of communication cables to receive diagnostic feedback and to transmit signals to the farthest reaches of your toesies. We tend to overlook the amazing set of physical hardware we’ve been given. Your body is one of the most complex systems imaginable — arguably the most complex system in all of Earth’s wonders.
Sarah sitting on a picnic blanket made with FS ROYAL BLUE 100% Linen
You own one of these homes, these complex systems beyond comprehension. It’s been given to you to use, to love, to honor, to adorn. The truth is, you are not disproportional. You are not too big here and too small there. You are one of the most amazing things on the planet.
FS ROYAL BLUE Softened 100% Linen
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24 Comments
rebecca jallings
I don’t remember exactly when it happened, but at some point in the last ten years or so, I suddenly realized that I love my old fat body. It has seen me through many surgeries and many years and I am so lucky to have it always taking care of me. So your words are music to my ears. I do remember how hateful I was, for most of my 72 years, when considering my own body. I am so glad to have realized how amazing and strong this body is.
Sarah Kirsten
Wow such a powerful story. Thank you for sharing.
Sherry Berbit
when I first looked at this article I couldn’t help but think – oh yea, easy for you to say, you young beautiful thing!!! well, of course, as I have learned throughout my life, I was wrong! Sarah, you still are a young beautiful thing, but your words are wise and important. like so many others I grew up thinking I wasn’t quite right, compared to my peers. but as time went on, I did start to like most of myself. I was strong, healthy, fit, and in many ways “beautiful”. I’ve had several physical conditions that left permanent changes, and with enough time you even begin to accept that and give it less credence. I’ve learned “I am who I am”- and only I have to be ok with me. I am going to be 69 next week – that’s a scary number, unless you are 70 or more. my close friend who is 83, and quite the hot tamale, tells me 69 is nothing, almost still a baby….. I have faith that she knows what she is talking about. she still works full time in health care, and has not looked a day over 50 in the past 25 yrs.
I swear I will not go to my grave still wishing I had a different body, different legs, different skin, different whatever. this body road bikes at least100miles a week, walks 5 miles every day, swims laps and works out just for the hell of it. this body works as a nurse for 45 years, this body has had children and now the benefit of grandkids too. I can still sew and make stuff I love to wear and stuff I love to give away. it has been a journey, and I sure hope it isn’t close to over. it will take me 20 years just to use my linen stash from this site-!
so, Sarah, and all of you who wrote comments, you are all wiser than I was back then, and it took me some time to catch up, but I’m good now, and I thank you for your thoughts. I just love when young women “get it”, gives me a lot of faith in this fairly crazy world.
Sarah Kirsten
Sherry, reading your story almost brings tears to my eyes. What an incredible body you have, and what a joy to live out boldly in the knowledge of that. We young women have a lot, a LOT to learn from the women like you who have gone before us. Please keep sharing your stories and wisdom with us.
Ruth Ann Van vranken
I read this post anticipating there would be a pattern that fit this shape. Oh how I hope Rockies jeans will come back. It would be wonderful to have linen slacks that fit waist, hips, thighs as well.
Nickolina Jacoby
The only pants that fit me are the ones I alter to fit. Otherwise, they are too big in the waist or too tight in the thighs. I need to figure out what to do with a pattern so I can sew some linen pants that fit perfectly–that would be lovely.
Sarah Kirsten
This is my problem too, Nickolina! I like to make the size of pants that fits me in the thighs and hips, and then take in the waistline on in the Center Back. It’s made a world of difference!
Carla Filarski
The new high waisted pants pattern looks like it might be perfect for us curvy girls. Cherokee jeans were my favorites 35 years ago ,but sometimes the zipper was just to short and no amount of dancing got me into them 🙂 Thanks Sarah !
Sarah Kirsten
Hi Carla,
I’m with you on the short zippers! Long zips are much more functional, and they look better I think! These pants are a pair I got at a thrift store and cut them off into shorts.
Sarah Kirsten
I would be on board with that too, Ruth! Nothing like good pants that fit in all the right places.
Debby Lassiter
Thank you Sarah for your encouragement! I agree with Tracy and Priscilla too. Good article and reminder to take all these lies that we are not good enough or that something is wrong with us – and let them go! If we don’t look like everybody else thinks we should or that we tell ourselves we should— It doesn’t matter- it’s our heart that matters. I am unique and the only one of me! Thank you God for the body, soul and spirit you have given me.
Sarah Kirsten
Hello Debby,
Yes! You are unique and the only one of you. You are so special and specially designed. We have to learn to recognize the lies so we can cut them out and let truth grow.
Sherry Brockman
This is so true and should be one thing every one should read more than once! Thank you.
Sarah Kirsten
Thank you Sherry! It can take awhile to really get this in our heads, can’t it? But so powerful once we can grasp hold of it.
Julie Sayers
As garment sewers we need to remember; there is nothing wrong with our bodies. It’s the pattern that is wrong. Make the pattern fit our bodies. Good fit will always make us look our best.
Sarah Kirsten
Yes, yes, yes!
Doris Wait
What lovely comments and thoughts to read early this morning. I’ve just started sewing again late in life and it is so comforting to know there are other ladies out there with similar thoughts. Thank you.
Sarah Kirsten
Hello Doris,
Welcome back to the world of sewing. What a delight to have you in our sewing community. You are certainly not alone.
Tracy Unnasch
That was beautiful, Sarah, thank you. My personal belief is that God ‘knit’ me together in my mother’s womb. If I’m taking the best care of me that I can [and, frankly, I’m often not], who am I to criticize the one who knit me AND hung the stars in the sky? That’s humbling, and urges me to want to both take care of my gift AND appreciate it as the work of art I’m housed in. Thank you for the reminder that the voice that has always been whispering lies in my ear is not the voice I should be listening to. Cheers!
Priscilla Knoble
Amen to that, Tracy…and exactly what I was thinking as I read Sarah’s writing.
Sarah Kirsten
Hi Priscilla,
We do have such a good father who knit us together, don’t we? And not only that, I think he does a good job of holding us together even now, holds us together emotionally, and to call tenderly to us and remind us who we are.
Sarah Kirsten
Hello Tracy,
What a beautiful sentiment. I love the thought of our bodies being a work of art to care for and honor. Thank you for sharing this.
Barbara Maraz
So very true! I distinctly remember when I was about 16, my home economics teacher had us all line up in front of a row of mirrors in the classroom. We were studying body types, face shapes etc.. I don’t remember it being really cruel to anyone but the one thing she pointed out about me, has stuck with me ever sense. My ankles were bigger then anyone else’s. Now that I’m in my mid sixties, they match everyone’s. My doctors have a hard time believing they aren’t swollen all the time but no, they have always been that way. It use to bother me when I was younger but I have gotten over it. I am the way I am.
Sarah Kirsten
Oh Barbara, thank you for sharing this. Words can hurt. Even when they don’t intend to hurt! Sometimes they leave a scar for such a long time. You are the way you are, and the way you are is beautifully made.